Letter from anarchist comrade Siao, released today after being imprisoned for defending #Hambacher Forest


This letter was firs published by Contra Info


Thank you very much for writing (and for write to Hodei also).
I am really happy to hear about deathtrap tree, because I am totally in love with it. The cops made laught about me when I climbed down and kissed it before get arrested.

I am mostly fine, but about the stuff of moving down by our own… I was Feeling like strongly betraying myself (and the treehouse, and specially the hazelmouse living in there) and still Feeling a bit like that. If i blame myself about something is about that, about I didn´t act like I was Feeling to…
We get a call front from the medow saying about the contact cop was telling them if we don´t climb down peacefully by our own they was going to cut the tree and bla, but if we went down easily by our own they just wanted to see what we had inside the treehouse.
Never trust a cop.
When we realiyed they was going to evict the house anyway, it was to late to take another choice… I hope that choice was what gave a Chance to this tree for continue living for a while… but not too Long.
Things in the forest are changing too fast. i´m a bit scared about what I´´m gonna find when I´ll be back, and wishing to be back soon.

I really miss to climb, i am wearing camu clothes ´cause it makes me feel somehow at home 🙂 . Thank you for the forest Pictures.

I am dealing well with the Situation of being in prison. maybe I am learning more german than in all my time in the Meadow/forest.
but language is a Problem. it makes me think a lot about how in our supercool Anarchist movement is much easier to find People who can speak english really well and then here is not usual at all.
then, i´m not able to tell you so much about how is People here, and is really hard to explain People about why i´m here.
the one Person i really get to explain her proper about the reason i am here (with some english words, some german words and drawing) has been moved to other place now. I am a bit sad about that, she was nice. at least, I have her mail adress.

Right now, I think it has been too much exhausting for me to build relationships with other People inside. I am still being friendly with them and most part of them Show solidarity with each other, but language…
It also hurts me a bit because of the gender, pronouns and bla and sometimes I don´t really know how to explain myself as a trans nonbinary Person in my mother language, more if it is to People who is not acquainted or used somehow to transgender issues, then now…

I just try to don´t pay a lot of Attention to it or ignore it at all, but it is hard to be in a female prison and know what all of that means about how everything on me, on my Body and on my life Story is genderized.
but i think i prefer to be here than to be in an all-cis-men place, so…
I really really hope that in the blog they´re respecting my pronouns, at least. I´ll go really angry and sad if don´t 🙁 (they or even he, but not she, please).
It´s fucked up because Hodei was the Person I choose Long time ago for “please, Keep an eye on People don´misgender me if at some Point i go in prison”. i think the worst Thing here is that we are not allowed to see each other because of the court. I really miss her.
Also, i´m having Problems with read and write because I should wear glasses for that, but i don´t use them for years and i don´t have actually. it´s just at the end of the day, my eyes get really tired and i can´t continue.
thanks for the update from the forest! I am everyday wondering about how is it going there!
About your other questions…
I have a single cell, i don´t have tv or Radio but I´ll try to ask for a Radio. I have some books, yes, but I already read all of them who was nice and the others look boring as fuck.
With the Routine… it´s really shitty that is not really a Routine and that you don´t really know at what time you can go for an hour outside or stuff like that, and it makes everybody really confused about time perception. Now I am Feeling lucky about having a watch. I was not Feeling it so useful for a few months. But it is not so bad, I have a lot of time for myself, for think and for write and I am some Kind of happy about that.
Thank you for turt*le adress, I have been thinking about that too.
Your letter arrived on 12/12.
Sorry for my english, i am not sure if everything is understandable.

Hope to see you soon,
love you all
war, fun, love and hate.

lux et voluptas,


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